19: damn pelicans

We started The Pelican Brief tonight, and got about an hour and a half in when the boy lost all patience.

“That got way too complicated when they started talking about pelicans.” — Boy

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reason #18

The boy likes bowling. And he especially likes bowling on $1 Mondays — which fill up fast. He did warn me that he would be leaving at exactly 8:50, but his clock is two minutes slow, so I thought I had time for a wardrobe change. (I needed to put on jeans, though — who goes bowling in a dress??) At 8:50 he charged out the door & told me he was leaving. I finished getting dressed, rushed out to the parking lot — and he’d already driven a loop around it to make a point. I was 3 minutes late.

This meant the boy was mad at me for the first half of the game. And it was during the first half of the game that, somehow, after managing countless gutter balls, I got a strike!

The boy, holding a grudge — and being competitive — couldn’t be happy for me. While everyone else high-fived me, the boy observed that “even a blind squirrel sometimes finds a nut.”

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reason #17

I’m visiting my family in Oregon, which involves being out of cell phone range for much of the day. Saturday we went hiking with my sister at Hart Mountain, and when we got back to “civilization” (Lakeview is a cowboy-populated one-Safeway kind of town, so calling it civilization is debatable) I had three texts from the boy:

I’m bored and listening to journey a bunch.

I can’t play xbox because part of the controller battery pack is missing! ugh. i’m going to walmart

Omg i’m so bored and you’re not here to make me go to bed! ahhhhhh!

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reason #16

“Wait where’s the fourth package of cream cheese? Oh ….  it’s here in my pocket.”

Said the boy while making a cheesecake. When he didn’t have the patience to let the cream cheese “soften” at room temperature, he stuck packages in his pockets and under his arms to speed things up. And then he managed to lose one.

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reason #15

The boy’s response: Guess you had to be there.

Actually, this is more in favor of the boy’s reasonableness than craziness. But the fact that he’s watched it somewhere between 5 and 10 times in the past hour alone — is a little crazy.”Double rainbow” is his new catchphrase.

And have you seen the dance remix?

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reason #14

On a visit to the kitten adoption center, which is a fixture of the California Ave. farmers’ market, which featured “Kate plus 8” (aka, a cat with 8 kittens that looked like they were the result of about 8 different fathers):

“That cat is a skank.”

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reason #13

He insisted on feeding the birds as we floated down the American River: in Hansel and Gretel style, flocks of ducks and geese followed his trail of soggy pita chips. Ignoring my protests, he also threw them an entire peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Judging from the scuffle, the birds did seem to immensely enjoy it.

Why we ran out of food on the American River.

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